


You Have Stars In Your Eyes

by glittermarxism



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-13 00:39:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9097867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glittermarxism/pseuds/glittermarxism
Summary: Karkat Vantas and Sollux Captor are two terrible, melancholic, and fucked up people who made the stupid mistake of falling in love in High School. It had been mutual, but profoundly complicated and depressing for everyone involved, and come graduation they ceased communication. After college, they both move to the same city and are reconnected through mutual friends. Shit happens, angst ensues. This probably takes place at a New Year's Eve party, or some other kind of shindig.





	

With a slump, Karkat folded his arms against the side of the roof, looking pensively at the glowing beauty of the city skyline. He sighed, cold wind warming the tips of his ears and reddening his nose. It had yet to snow, but a bitter frost had overcome the city, and he supposed in another life there’d be something beautiful to this view. Maybe it still was beautiful, but he couldn’t feel it. It just felt sad, like things were ending. He shouldn’t have come here.

“Hey, king of melancholy,” Karkat’s head whipped around at the sound of a nasally voice, distracted temporarily from his pondering. To his dismay, and primal joy, Sollux Captor leaned against the doorframe separating the rooftop from the rest of the apartment complex. He looked ravishing and idiotic, and it made Karkat’s heart churn the way it had when he was young, dumb, and stupidly in love. His slender figure was dressed in a button down top that was tucked into a simple pair of jeans that were secured to his frame with a thick black belt. He wore a bomber jacket and pointed boots, and Karkat was still in love with him.

“Doesn’t it get old?” Sollux asked, stepping out onto the rooftop. His hands were shoved the pockets of his jacket, and he wandered around, seemingly in no rush to be close to Karkat. His gaze went past the city lights, upwards to the moon. Karkat followed his eyes momentarily, before flickering back to study the man who had seemingly come up here to heckle him.

“What?” Karkat quipped back, more tentative than his usual brand of snark.

“The…. dramaticness of it all. Look at you. You look like a damn film. Staring into the city, the moon shining against you, a deep sadness lingering. It’s cheesy and pathetic and it belies the truth. You… you always want things to be grand. I get it! You’re sad. I’m sad. Everyone on this whole damn block is sad, Karkat.” Sollux noted his increase in volume towards the end and folded slightly into himself, hissing a quick apology through his teeth. He didn’t exactly mean it, but he knew there was no good in yelling. He shouldn’t yell. He wasn’t mad, well, not exactly, “Things are never going to be the way you want them to, but they’re… going to be. The sadness won’t be poetic, the love won’t always give you roses. I’m sorry. Maybe there is a place where that exists. I don’t think there is, but, I can promise you it’s not here,”

Karkat chewed at his bottom lip, nails digging into his palms. He turned his head away from Sollux, sniffling slightly and letting the heaviness of that wash over him.

“And what? Should I succumb to your perfect brand of cynicism? Will that make it better?” Karkat muttered under his breath, dipping his head down.

“Fuck, no, don’t… don’t do this shit right now,” Sollux pleaded, then chuckled to himself, “I thought it was easier, back then. I thought I was right. That, that you should just… stop feeling. Embrace apathy. Your emotions tore you apart--” 

"So did yours!”

“--and I wanted, fuck,” Sollux was beginning to get choked up, and he raised a hand to his face to wipe away the newly forming tears, “Stupid. Karkat, do you, do you know that I loved you back then?”

“It crossed my mind,” Karkat huffed.

“Karkat, please,”

“Yes, Sollux, I knew. I knew you loved me. It was so loud, it was in the tone of voice you used with me, it was the way you would only ever double text me, and it was in that stupid playlist. Sollux, I know. I know. But you stopped. I didn’t,” Karkat squeezed his eyes shut, resting his head in his arms.

“When the Hell did I stop? You ran away, you… I never thought I could feel so fucking abandoned by someone. I knew it was a feeling, and that others had done it to you, but… shit. It hurt without you. I spent years hoping you’d call,” Sollux’s voice was so small, and Karkat lifted his head up to look at him. A sob was caught in the chubby boy’s throat, and he covered his mouth in embarrassment.

“I wanted to,” Karkat said simply.

Sollux smiled sadly, “I know,”

“I tried,”

“I changed my number,”

“Yeah,”

“Karkat,” Sollux took a few steps forward, closing the distance, “I meant what I said. You want more than this world has to offer, or at least more than I can give. You have stars in your eyes, and it’s the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. I want you in my life again. I want to hear you rant about every stupid thing that happens, and I want you to tell me why things matter so much to you and I want to pretend I am capable of agreeing,” There were tears in his eyes, but he didn’t stop, “I can’t give you half of what you want or deserve, but I want to give you everything I have. It’s not enough, I know, but you’re an idiot and an asshole and I am too, and I missed you,”

“Sollux…”

“I can’t lose you again. Not without really, really being able to know you. We were teenagers back then, Karkat, it’s been so long. We can do this for real. Like adults, without mistaking it for something grandiose,”

“You’re always going to be the scrawny 17 year old I fell for back in senior year,”

“He doesn’t exist anymore. I’m all that’s left of him, and I’m asking you to love me too. Let me be the scrawny 28 year old you fall for again, when things are okay, and I swear to God I’ll be better,”

“Sollux, do you really believe that?”

“I don’t know, but I want to try. I want this so badly,”

“So do I,”

“So try. Fuck, this is your bullshit, right? Boy runs onto the rooftop, professing his love, begging for his ex back, starts crying…?” Sollux laughed, but, yes, he was crying, “If it were raining I’d kiss you,”

Karkat stepped forward, lifting his hands up to cup Sollux’s face, “You beautiful, perfect, amazing idiot of a human being,” He breathed, “I missed you so much. Don’t wait for the rain,”

Sollux snickered, snaking his arms around Karkat’s waist and leaning down. Their lips locked, and it wasn’t magic. It was warm, and soft, and everything it needed to be. Nothing more, and nothing less.


End file.
